My choice of words is intentional — we can’t keep ignoring the Princess

Carolina Chanis
2 min readMar 11, 2022


Am I trying to push women’s liberation back?

Far from it. But, if the word PRINCESS triggers you, I hope you can trust me when I say that I know what that’s like.

I hated the color pink. My Barbie games were pure Mexican soap opera violence (it wasn’t fun until the good Barbie was pushed out of the balcony). My favorite thing was to pretend I could summon demons from my dad’s English-Spanish dictionary. To date, I’d rather be in a mosh pit or a wrestling show than doing whatever the hell refined women in their mid-30s are supposed to do.

Delicate flower, I am not.

Yet none of theses frilly things is what defines the Princess persona.

She’s an important part of our development — and in many of us, she never got a chance to develop properly.

The princess never experienced an outpour of UNCONDITIONAL love.

The princess never experienced taking up space AND feeling safe in doing so.

The princess didn’t learn how to feel negative emotions. She was told it looked ugly on her.

We carry this princess inside of us, always.

If we don’t check in with her, her pain will manifest in your adult life in some “interesting” ways. In the specific case of the Rebel Princess, this character develops a series of complicated mechanisms to push against the world WITHOUT STIRRING THE POT.

This point is crucial — no matter what she looks like on the outside, on the inside she wants to be seen as nice. She wants to please. But, she also wants to push back against convention. She tries, but it always feels like an uphill battle.

It is never enough.

Time is her enemy.

So she uses more willpower to control her destiny.

I’ll say it over and over again — this is a dangerous game. It is futile and it sucks the vitality out of you. Creativity dies. Imagination dies. Our joy dies.

This is why we need to check in with her. Our empowerment cannot be built from this place. This is a weak foundation. This is what keeps us in that “chasing” energy, focused on what we lack, focused on the “shoulds”, on keeping up instead of building our own damn tables.

Have you checked in with your inner Princess lately?

This post was created with Typeshare



Carolina Chanis

I write about the emotional courage it takes to start a thing…from the lens of an extreme perfectionist