Carolina Chanis

I was afraid to let go of my mask — what if I was just plain mediocre?

Too often I read comments saying that perfectionism is a pre-requisite to do certain jobs. ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
Uhm no, I do not need to constantly question my self-worth and have a perfectly hidden depression so I can build a bridge, be a surgeon, do math.
⁠⁠
The opposite of perfectionism is not mediocrity. ⁠⁠
⁠⁠
The opposite of perfectionism is doing things without self-hatred, without crippling self-doubt, without feeling that it is a do or die situation. ⁠⁠

I know that it is 100% possible to get things done without ever looking at why you feel like this, why do you feel that things (or you) are never good enough?

I got through 3 degrees this way. I navigated being the token woman/ foreigner/millennial in the room this way. I have gotten jobs being this way.

In my mind, all I needed to do was to stay on top of my game, and then the bad feelings would go away.

And then came the day where I could not keep up.

I had no labels, no identity, no marker of success to secure my self-worth.

The good thing is that when your worse case scenario actually happens…you realize that it wasn’t a do or die situation.

What happens next is up to you.

I’ve been there, done that, crawled out of my personal hellhole, now feeling cute and invincible 💃

This post was created with Typeshare

I write about the emotional courage it takes to start a thing…from the lens of an extreme perfectionist