Four reasons why we need to talk about perfectionism

My theme for 2022 is to KEEP IT SIMPLE. So, here it goes, the unfiltered list of why I want to talk about perfectionism and impostor syndrome:

We are giving advice that keeps us stuck

I’m a perfectionist who could not separate her self-worth and identity from her work. I spent many years focusing on what I believed was “the problem”, that perfectionism would get in the way of my productivity and efficiency.

There are thousands of articles on this, and while these may help to get you through a temporary funk, this will not help you address the real problems behind your perfectionism.

An easy way to know if you need to go deeper is to ask yourself — do you like yourself when you fail? Who are you when things don’t work out your way?

We are not talking about the subconscious

Apparently, if I could just “change my thoughts”, then my life would be different.

The origin of our self-sabotage is not our conscious mind, it is in the subconscious. If you are wondering why the positive affirmations aren’t working, it’s because your subconscious mind is running the show and you are not even aware of it.

We are not talking about the underlying emotional issues

Back in the days, I could give you a laundry list about why I was a perfectionist, but I had no idea how to keep perfectionism from ruining my life.

This is not an intellectual exercise. Our perfectionism is a handy tool to repress unwanted emotions…as much as it sucks, they need to be felt and processed so we can heal.

We are not talking about how trauma is a part of it

Your perfectionism is a coping mechanism that you developed at an early age to survive.

Understanding the ways that you didn’t get over that childhood experience is crucial to heal — don’t bypass it.

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