Carolina Chanis

Demystifying the “It’s already in you” pep talk

I agree with this statement, even though at first glance it feels like a load of bullshit.

Yes, it is already in you.

But the advice is incomplete.

I learned that this doesn’t mean expressing it will be easy.

It doesn’t even mean that just because it’s there, you know it’s there.

For all I know, you can be turning your back on it right now, forcing yourself to fit into molds because you were taught that it was wrong, and this other thing is the right way.

Even if you know what it is, you might not believe that it is your birthright to channel it.

It’s a big ask to go within, find what’s wonderful and unique about you, and share that with the world. And yet we pretend it’s a hack that you only need to do once.

For some people the road to understanding “it’s already in you” might be a short one. I don’t know. That’s not what I experienced.

I spent 30 years believing there was something wrong/weak/broken/deficient in me before I changed my mind for good.

Changing my mind was not about slaying my fears and conquering every single negative thought. I don’t care who you are and which self-help book you’ve read, this will never happen. As long as you are human, there will be fears, doubts, forces trying to pull you down.

What I changed was the belief that once I do something, I will be worthy of taking up space, I will be worthy of love and appreciation. I don’t stress about about being good enough anymore. I don’t spend my energy there.

Once I was able to believe in my inherent self-worth, I was able to explore what is already in me.

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I write about the emotional courage it takes to start a thing…from the lens of an extreme perfectionist